Coffee, Chaos and Cuss Words

“You must   learn   to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose.” ~ Indira Gandh i Early on in my spiritual seeking, I was a frenetic seeker-all ‘bump and go’.  Meaning, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, I RAN to find where I belonged. I traveled to many different areas, joined different groups and attended a gazillion workshops, lectures, and retreats. I read whatever I could get my hands on about Wicca, Paganism and Witchcraft in a multitude of cultures just looking for that one place I would finally feel at home. This was during pre-internet times. When the internet was in its infancy, there was not much information on the types of spiritual paths I was exploring. Many who walked those paths still believed they needed to practice in secrecy-whether by tradition or a fear of the repercussion for coming ‘out of the broom closet’. Those who were out were often charlatans…charging hundreds of dollars for poor guidance to lost seekers

Dad and his cat, Baby-January 2013 Sunday morning, March 17, I got a phone call in the morning from my brother. He said that our relatives in Puerto Rico called him to notify him that our father had a heart attack or possibly a stroke. I was on a plane to Puerto Rico that afternoon and got to the hospital in San Juan by 10pm that night. My father had been visiting family there that he hadn’t seen for about 4 years. He and Mom used to go every year on vacation, but with my mother’s health declining, they stopped going. October 19, 2012 my Mom passed away. In late February 2013 Dad said he wanted to visit his family and so he went to Puerto Rico for about 3 weeks. No health problem but he was having difficulty dealing with the devastating loss of his wife of 47 years. As soon as I saw him, I knew the end was near. He was hooked up to a respirator and he was already brain dead by the time I got there. It was a severe and sudden stroke on the left side of his brain. I stayed in the ER with

The issues I have had with learning to connect with the Crone goddess are rooted in what the ‘rules’ are that have been handed down from some of my peers. At nearly 47, I am not considered ‘old enough’ for some to be in my Crone years. However, physically I have begun the roller coaster ride of Menopause and know this is not going to be a dull trip! I have never had children, and it has been tough relating to the transition from Maiden to Mother and then to Crone. Early on during my spiritual seeking, when I was a much younger woman, even my Pagan and Wiccan sisters had no words of wisdom for me. As someone who never planned to have children, it was just assumed that I would change my mind someday and ‘then I would understand’ the true role of the Triple Goddess. Crap...I think that no one could explain it to me because as long as it fit into their bubble, they had no desire to look beyond. I wanted to explore and know the Goddess in all her aspects, in all cultures, in all phases to k