My Triple Goddess- The Crone- Grandmother Moon & Baba Yaga

The issues I have had with learning to connect with the Crone goddess are rooted in what the ‘rules’ are that have been handed down from some of my peers. At nearly 47, I am not considered ‘old enough’ for some to be in my Crone years. However, physically I have begun the roller coaster ride of Menopause and know this is not going to be a dull trip! I have never had children, and it has been tough relating to the transition from Maiden to Mother and then to Crone. Early on during my spiritual seeking, when I was a much younger woman, even my Pagan and Wiccan sisters had no words of wisdom for me. As someone who never planned to have children, it was just assumed that I would change my mind someday and ‘then I would understand’ the true role of the Triple Goddess. Crap...I think that no one could explain it to me because as long as it fit into their bubble, they had no desire to look beyond. I wanted to explore and know the Goddess in all her aspects, in all cultures, in all phases to know Her better and in doing so, to know myself.

Perhaps part of my dilemma stemmed from not knowing my own grandmothers. My dad’s mother died when he was a young boy. My mom’s mother died when I was just one-year old. I never knew them and have always mourned that missing part of my life. To this day I wonder how my life would have been different if I had been able to get to know them. What would I have sought from them? Nurturing, experience, wisdom, encouragement…these things I would have welcomed from the elders of my family. Lacking their presence, I had to do without. Or did I? Looking back to my childhood, I connected with the Crone in Her aspect as Grandmother Moon.

As a girl I had a strong love for Grandmother Moon. I would talk to Her almost every night. Whispering my cares to Her was a ritual for me. Many nights, when she was in Her fullness, I would go outside and lie in the grass staring up at Her bright, white face. We would sit quietly, enjoying each other’s company, and I felt Her light and Her love. Later, there were those who would say that at the time of the Full Moon, it was the Mother’s aspect I was seeing. But I knew better, even as a little girl. ALL phases of the Moon belong to the Crone, for She best represented the full circle of life. She showed me that even while there was a crescent in the sky…She was still whole, even though She was partly shrouded in darkness. What a lesson! Even in the darkest times, we are whole and must remember our shadows are also a part of us that shape what we reveal to the world. Grandmother Moon’s wisdom guided me to learn, to change, and to transform. She is the Great Shapeshifter who knows how to move through this world and the next. She is light and shadow, life and death, joy and sorrow. All things pass and will come again like the tides that Her energy commands to come and go, yet the dance remains patient and constant.

Now, as an adult, I come face to face with a different aspect of the Crone: the Wild Woman goddess in the form of Baba Yaga.  To be truthful, this is a part of the Crone goddess that normally scares the crap out of people! She has been portrayed as the stereotypical ‘wicked witch’. She is viewed as the wicked, ugly, old Hag who appears a bit crazy and is up to no good.  This aspect definitely speaks to my own personality. I am not known nor feel particularly light, soft and nurturing most of the time. I like cookies but don’t really feel the urge to bake any for anyone, even myself. What I respect most about the Crone in the aspect of Baba Yaga is that She is comfortable with Herself. She was a model for Feminism and is content to be alone or ostracized rather than conform to what She feels is foolish or untrue in the Patriarchal society around Her.

Growing up and reading folktales about Her, we learned that Baba Yaga was a witch that kidnapped and ate children…what a nightmare! Anyone notice how ridiculously similar that is to other cautionary folk tales about Crones? It was quite an effective lesson for young girls about what happens if you act independently and don’t trust the judgment of civilized society in favor of trusting your own instincts! Artists portrayed Her in a flying mortar and pestle…which is thought to symbolize the grinding away of the Wild spirit through passive resistance. Call on Her and She will help you ‘grind’ away at those parts of yourself that serve others and hinder your own growth. Portrayed as the Ugly Hag, She is a reminder of the knowledge that Death comes to us all. As the wise Crone, She does not fear Death because Baba Yaga can destroy and resurrect. Do we not have this ability in our own lives? Baba Yaga is also sometimes portrayed as a generous and beautiful bearer of gifts. Those who come to know Her are rewarded with knowledge that the sweetness of Life is the ultimate gift.

As I come to understand more about this aspect of the Triple Goddess in my life, I find that while my body does slow me down at times, my Spirit is full and powerful. I still strive to learn, but trust in what experiences I have. I am more comfortable with being true to myself than in being polite and going along with the crowd. I can be fierce at times and funny at others. She cackles loud alright! For Her laughter is joy unrestrained by the rules of polite society. She gives us the power to set boundaries that protect us-a lesson I desperately needed when I was younger. I don’t fear silence or solitude and I am coming to face my own mortality. Because of Her it doesn’t frighten me as much as it used to.  Baba Yaga is truly the Goddess who says-‘This is who I am and I’m okay with that. Take it or leave it.’ Baba Yaga rules the Elements, walks deep in the forests, tests the naïve to awaken to their inner wisdom, and knows the most powerful magick comes from knowing and embracing your own, True self.  May you walk in Her wisdom and dance joyfully with the Wild Crone!