Honoring the Living and Departed Ancestors
Good day friends! Once again I have another blurp that I have written as a contribution for Kallan Kennedy's- The Secret Life of the American Witch! Please, visit the page and check out all the wonderful contributing Chefs who make the Sunday Stew such a treat! As always, I hope that you enjoy my contribution and I would love to hear your thoughts!
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Many Pagans are blessed to be able to spend Samhain with a loving circle of friends, family, and other like-minded folks. They will conduct group rituals, raise cones of power, chant and sing songs, drum in the midst of their circles, and enjoy the celebratory feast afterward. Some children (and adults!) are lucky enough to take part in Harvest celebrations, play games, create masks, wear costumes, decorate sugar skulls, and then enjoy the spoils from hours of ringing doorbells and shouting ‘Trick-or-Treat!!’. But what about the rest of us? What is there for those of us to do to celebrate and honor Samhain if we do not have children/ grandchildren to accommodate or a group to celebrate with?
At Samhain we seek to face the fears of our own mortality. We want to connect with those who have gone before us in life and in so doing, ease our fears of what lies beyond this life of ours. We do so by connecting with our ancestors, both the Living and Departed. We can easily do a ritual and recite words written in a book or on a piece of paper, but there is no substitution for the intimacy of connection. To honor those who have come before us is to acknowledge all they have done (good, bad, and indifferent) which may have shaped the world we live in and also, ourselves. Samhain is not about connecting with acquaintances, but with our Ancestors. They may not be familiar to us but they ARE part of us. To know ourselves we must know them. Samhain is not about playacting…it is about establishing a relationship with the Ancestors who will help guide us on our paths.
“Man is physically as well as metaphysically a thing of shreds and patches, borrowed unequally from good and bad ancestors, and a misfit from the start.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson
We must consider honoring our Living Ancestors. By this I mean those elders who still are living in our communities. I never knew any of my grandparents, but still honor the Living Ancestors with us in the here and now. I think about how many elderly people are alone, with no family to care for or about them. They do not have to be Pagans to be our ancestors. Between 50-60% of nursing home residents around the world have no living relatives and no visitors. This is not an issue of Pagan vs Christian….this is a human issue. In this age of extreme technology, we are afraid of living without it. Many in our societies still fear Death and Samhain is a time to examine our own fears. Our Living Ancestors have come to know how to survive and they still have much to teach us. Let us honor them and their journey through life. They have seen many a Samhain, though they may have called it by a different name. How can we think only of connecting with the spirits beyond this world, when there are living beings here and now that need us? You can contact local nursing homes and senior centers and volunteer some time. Spending time with the elderly will be a way of honoring their lives, their struggles, their successes, their lives and their memories.
“Some people are your relatives but others are your ancestors, and you choose the ones you want to have as your ancestors. You create yourself out of those values.” –Ralph Ellison
For some, it is not possible to volunteer in person for a variety of reasons. Maybe you live too far away or just aren’t comfortable enough to jump with perfect strangers in that way. In that case, you can honor our Living Ancestors through community programs like, ‘Adopt-a-Grandparent’. We can connect to those who have no relatives near, but simply desire the kind of social contact that makes their lives more fulfilling. Check with local nursing homes and senior centers to see who may offer that kind of program or if they have wish lists for the elders in their care. If there is not a program available, consider starting one to help ease the loneliness of those of our Living Ancestors who just need some human dignity and kindness. A card, stuffed animal, a handmade gift, or something heartfelt lets them know they have not been forgotten and someone cares. There are also programs like ‘Adopt-a-Native-Elder’. This program has been around since the late 1980’s. It allows folks to help Navajo elders living on reservations. There are other programs locally that honor their cultures. If you want to connect with the elders of a certain country, there are programs available if you only look for them.
If you want to honor those elders who served your country, then perhaps you could honor our Living Ancestors through programs like ‘Adopt a Veteran’. The Elks lodges have programs like this already for many years and there are more groups forming every day. From care packages for Veterans to providing foster care for an aged Veteran in a private home, there are many ways to honor our military ancestors. At Samhain we remember that nothing should be wasted or discarded. Everything has a purpose and can help sustain us. That is true of the harvest in the field and of the people around us.
We must also consider honoring the resting places of our Departed Ancestors. Think about adopting a historic cemetery, grave or headstone. Many old cemeteries have fallen into disrepair and disregard. Those who once had plots that were cared for now are forgotten, overgrown, vandalized and badly in need of restoration. Many historical and genealogical societies look for volunteers to help provide care for the graves of these ancestors of our towns, communities and countries. While tending to burial sites, you learn of our ancestors work, life, family, art, humor and walk among some of those who-quite literally-wrote our history.
At cemeteries we find the final resting place for the earthly remains of our ancestors. We may even find their wandering spirits there as well. Helping to tend to the graves is a way to give thanks to those who came and shaped our world long before we showed up. Or, if clearing the weeds still seems daunting, how about just taking a walk through the cemetery? Just walk through a cemetery and try to sense the energy there. This is a good exercise whether you are new or experienced on the Pagan paths, for over time all energies will change their ebb and flow. At Samhain, we are seeking to connect with the Spirit world, and by showing reverence for those who came before, we certainly set a more favorable and respectful tone for other Spirits we may wish to communicate with later.
Samhain is about the relationship with have with the physical and metaphysical energies around us. The Living and Departed ancestors are a part of what influenced us, whether we are aware of it or not. Take some time to get to know them and they will help as you come to know yourself. Samhain is the moral and ethical measure of why we call ourselves Pagans, Wiccans and Witches. Samhain is not only about how we behave with the Spirits but how we choose to spiritually behave. At Samhain we reflect on what truly motivates us to walk this path and what inspires us to become who are truly are….
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