Make a Wish...Take a Chance...Make a Change...

Good morning, my friends....got your mugs handy? Let's chat...

I find myself in a weird situation today. It's my last day at my current job. Monday I will start at my new job...no extra time in between for a break. Don't need one, really. Just wanted to move on to a place where I felt my 30+ years of work experience might be more....appreciated. Or at the very least, not be treated like a fucking afterthought.  I've not fit in here well, particularly. Most folks are pleasant enough, however, it's run much like a clubhouse on a college campus. They have openly yelled insults at each other, had nerf gun fights, cussed in front of clients, had crass and inappropriate conversations, etc that I simply cannot engage in as a professional in the workplace. Sure...have some fun every now and again but when you are in front of people looking to you for help...and you are almost literally their ONLY hope....you might want to behave like you actually can do the job and take the situation seriously!  

I do believe age is a factor for me. I am the second oldest here, which leaves one woman here now over the age of 50 and the next oldest are a couple of supervisors in their late 30's.  I know what it means to behave like a 'professional' and many of these folks....don't.  To say this is an environment that doesn't respect anyone over 40 is an understatement. I've heard my younger counterparts get criticized for mistakes that I've made too...but mine always came with the finisher, "you've got enough 'experience' that you should know better". Coworkers routinely mock 'old' people and talk about how useless they are. I recently told one woman that I damn well hope she has the privilege of growing older and regretting those comments.

On my last two days here, my boss called out sick, which she NEVER does. It's a bit of a relief and makes for a quiet, stress-free exit in more ways than one. Not being part of the 'IN crowd', I've spoken to exactly 2 people today. I'm in my office and no one is bothering with me. If I walked out right now, I'm not sure anyone would notice. Although, I was given the perfunctory 'goodbye' card signed by the most of the same coworkers who aren't aware of my presence in the office at this very moment. There is no 'goodbye' party or cake...no tears will be shed...I will not be missed.

And yet, it is so very okay with me, it makes me smile just thinking about it. I could have made more of an effort to fit in, if I really wanted to. I could have laughed loudly at stupid jokes, tried to keep up in conversations about the latest trends (like fad diets, Snapchat or Beyonce, etc-phhhhhhthtttt!!!) or feigned interest in the lives of people who've never shown any interest in mine. There are a few people who have been genuinely friendly and those people have made life here tolerable to be sure. However, it's time to move on from a stagnant environment and fly away...

Am I nervous? Yep... Change is a scary thing sometimes. I have to go to a new place, prove my talents and skills, try to make new friends...all with an ability to feed, clothe and house my family in the balance.....no pressure! But Fuck Yeah....I'm ready for it! I'm still capable of making changes at 51 that most people don't believe they can. I want to be the kind of counselor, guide, mentor...that let's people know that you don't have to believe the bullshit this society keeps putting out about getting older. I have work and life experience that have gotten me to this point in life that other people can't even imagine. I will not sell myself short because someone else is afraid of MY gray hair and wrinkles. I've fucking earned them all....get over it!

Time for my next adventure! Time to fly....