PDA's for Life!

What? Really? Some people actually have a problem with people showing their affection for each other....especially if you are over 40!! This is a subject near and dear to my heart for some time now. Back in 2008, I wrote a little mini-blog about Public Display's of Affection. Here is part of what I wrote then:

"A public display of affection (sometimes it is abbreviated as PDA) is the physical expression of intimacy or affection for one’s romantic partner while in public and in the view of others. It can be as simple gesture such as a whisper, a cute nickname, a gentle caress, or holding hands. It can go as far as embracing, kissing, caressing the body, a smack on the butt and at times, ’making out’, ’necking’ or ’heavy petting’. Some things should probably remain private...or they may lose the real ’intimacy’ of the gesture. Small PDA’s seem so important in keeping a relationship alive and loving that I wonder why I don’t see them more often."

I really don't see even minor PDA's very much at all. And by minor I mean...holding the door open for your partner or standing next to them...touching their arm, etc. WHY? Now, I should say that when I see some folks of any age going at it in the heat of passion, I do get kinda skeeved by those who deliberately put on an exhibition for the people who happen to walk past. But in general, I loveseeing anyone who knows how to show their partner they care by a touch, a smooch, a hand on their back, a hug, etc.

When my darling hubby and I were in Cape May, NJ recently, I sat and watched all the people going by. So few held hands...not even the youngins! Doesn't anyone even LIKE each other anymore?? Interestingly, I did note during the hour that I sat watching folks go by, that not a single person who had kids-from infants to older teens-held hands. Heck, most of them didn't even walk close to each other! I can't say it surprised me...but it sure made me realise the rise in stats of single/divorced parents... What is wrong with folks that they don't make an effort toward preserving the most important relationship in your life? It makes me sad to see folks who look like they haven't had a good laugh with their partner in years...or folks who are walking around the perimeter of their partner...near, but oh god, not too close! It's disrespectful, it's pathetic...and it's epidemic. In a world of disposable everything, I see so few people reaching out to make the smallest of gestures that would have the greatest impact on a loving relationship. Holding hands still means something special...

I know I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE seeing folks my age and older walking and holding hands or walking arm in arm. It fills my heart with such joy and I can't help but smile (sometimes I even get a bit misty eyed). My hubby and I just look at each other, knowing that those folks have the same committment that we have...they made the promise and actively keep it. They show the love and affection they feel for their partners open and honest....public. They don't need to hide it because they have nothing to hide! Love thrives in the light....let it shine!!

"What should be common is not to be found so easily! Some people are extremely offended seeing any PDA’s....I tend to think most people who are uncomfortable with PDA’s of any kind are usually lacking that kind of affection in their relationships and are a bit jealous and unhappy. Have you ever seen a couple of any age holding hands who looked unhappy? I haven’t...."

If you are upset with your partner, holding hands is not exactly a priority if you're pissed off. But when you aren't angry and you love them, then why deny your partner a simple expression of that love? Do you really have to wait till your anniversary...birthday...or till you can find a babysitter? Is it possible that the breakdown of any marriage/partnership starts when the PDA's stop? PDA's make me happy! Giving or receiving affection feels wonderful! No matter where we are or what is happening in our lives...it is the unspoken promise...'You and Me against the world, Babe...We're in this TOGETHER.'

"PDA’s are about me and my partner expressing our feelings for each other. I want him to hold my hand, to touch my face, to put his arm around me, to kiss me....it makes me feel good, special, and loved. Why...in a world where divorce and bad break ups make the 6 o’clock news, don’t more people believe in PDA’s? Is the whole world out of love? I don’t understand....and maybe I really don’t want to. "

Before we got married, we were discussing the possibility of how our relationship might change. I told my darling man that I wanted to marry him, but I had two conditions. 1) We will always hold hands. Whether sitting at home on the sofa watching the news, or out walking around at a flea market. We are a couple, devoted to each other, and the joining of our hands is as much a symbol of love to me as the rings we would wear. 2) I want kisses every day. Good morning kiss, good night kiss, be right back kiss, etc. It is an expression of our intimate connection and genuine affection for each other...I need to have that in my marriage.  He agreed on both conditions and said he felt the same...

When we sit at a diner, we hold hands while we chat and wait for our food to arrive. The various wait staff always comment, 'how sweet that you still hold hands!'  Then I hear them complain how their partners don't do that for them and they wish they would. My hubby and I just give each other a knowing glance, a smile, and gently squeeze each others fingers. They know what they are missing...and we won't miss a thing. We made a promise to each other. In sickness and in health...for richer, for poorer...his hand will be in mine and mine in his. Sealed with a kiss....PDA's for Life...!

My Darling Hubby and Me....PDA all the way!!!