Love ya, bye....

Mom at 19 years old...glamour girl on the farm...

My mom passed away tonight....she was 79. This is the initial shock...numbness...mental processing.
We all knew it was coming....she was a diabetic with heart disease and was battling lung cancer. Two weeks ago she was in the hospital and they put her on a respirator, something that had never happened before. But, she improved...and we had hope for just a little more time. She just got out of the hospital a few days ago and was resting at home. I was there with her when they removed the respirator tube....she grasped my hand so tight...she was terrified...'I thought I was dead, Lina. I thought I died.' That was just a few days ago. She just didn't make it much longer...her body simply could not fight any more.

Mom and Dad on their Wedding Day...that little bump on her belly is me!

My dad is devastated...after more than 47 years of marriage, he has just lost his wife.  He sounded so painfully sad on the phone. He doesn't know what to do....he is lost....we are all lost. Tomorrow morning I make the 2 hour drive to be with my family. To grieve with them...guide them....make arrangements...be strong for them. I feel numbness taking over....the raw emotion is receding...I guess this is how I will cope, for now...as I prepare to lay my mother to rest and try to give comfort to my father.
When I spoke to her on the phone the day before yesterday, she sounded weak, but upbeat. I told her I would be up to see her next week. I told her I loved her, and she said she loved me, too. ' I did not know then it would be our last conversation, but I take some comfort in knowing our last words were of the love we had for each other...

Virginia Soto-October 19, 2012-R.I.P.

Then we ended our phone call the way we always did....by saying....'Love ya, Bye...