Not My Circus-Not My Monkeys: Regaining Control from Negative People

Hello my friends....welcome back to more mental meanderings from yours truly! I had a bit of an epiphany recently, courtesy of my darling hubby, that I'd like to share with you.

One day I had stayed home from work and Hubby and I were chatting about our future plans for this summer and for our eventual move to the West Coast. He paused for a minute and then said, 'You know, you're really upbeat right now...it's nice to see.' Of course, I said, 'Well, you know I have been working a lot lately and then by the time I get home.....' He nodded and said, ' Yeah, I know...but it's still nice to see you this way.'  That got me thinking of what I've actually been doing. It's true, I've been working a lot and driving further to get to work every day. It's also true that by the time I get home, I'm completely drained of energy so that I don't have a lot to give to my husband.

I am a product of my current, unavoidable work environment. Plenty of soul-sucking, energy draining, psychic vampires everywhere I turn. I cleanse and shield my office every week because the flow of energy in that area becomes toxic so quickly. What I had failed to do was to make a point of not throwing away my own personal energy, and thankfully, my husband pointed out to me what the flaw in my plan had been.

My name is Lina...and I'm not just an Empathic Witch,  I'm also a recovering Control Freak and Fixer. Yes, despite all my best efforts to remain steadfast and out of other people's shit...I find myself routinely dragged knee deep into the drama. My problem is not being able to set the kind of boundaries I normally would...because these folks are my co-workers and I need my job. They are drama queens (and kings) to the tenth degree...and while I can avoid spending too much time with them, when I am around them they seem to make up for lost time. These folks are shady and negative and unfortunately, I allow them to get under my skin. I allow them to piss me off and hurt my feelings when they talk smack about me and I hear about it later. They lack integrity and are irresponsible, gossip about others, conspire with each other to cover up their many screw ups. But this is NOT who I am.  I am responsible for my reactions and this is not who I want to be.

Some days, I find it easy to be a Wicked Witch. I want to curse, cast spells, work with poppets and voodoo dolls and create some otherworldly nastiness the likes of which they'd never thought possible. But then, I stop....and consider where my energy is going. Am I taking action, having a knee-jerk reaction, or simply over-reacting? I cannot change these people. It's not my place to do that anyway. The only thing I can truly focus on is my own behavior....as the Wiccans say, 'in Thought, Word, and Deed'. Every time I get annoyed by them...their negativity, dishonesty, etc....I turn over my energy to them and they win. So, I needed to find something to help me disconnect from their drama, before it turns itself on me.

Not my Circus. Not my Monkeys. I absolutely adore this proverb! It has become like a mantra that has made me snap back to center and remain calm. When I find myself reacting to their negative behavior/energy...I stop, take a deep breath and close my eyes and say 'Not my Circus. Not my Monkeys.' Yes, I say it out loud, no matter who is around... I feel the energy lose it's grip...it no longer has a tightness around me. I give myself permission to LET GO of their negativity and focus keeping my own energy calm, steady and positive....

I am not responsible for the actions or consequences for these psychic vampires. I am not responsible for these grown adults. I am only responsible for the energy I put into the world. It is the only thing I have control over. The peace of mind I have is completely reliant on my ability to keep personal boundaries (mental, physical, spiritual and emotional) intact whenever I am around these negative people. I know who they are, and I don't expect them to behave any differently than they already have. I don't have to respond with my own negativity. I can simply let them be and keep myself grounded. Will I do it perfectly? No, but it gives me something to focus on. It would be difficult for anyone with integrity to listen to such negativity without having some sort of response. My reaction to the situation is the one thing under my control. I can't control them....but I can control myself. They do not determine the outcome of my day or my mood.

We'll leave this hear for now friends. As always, your feedback is invaluable to me! I hope the coming week is wonderful for you! Till next time....Bright Blessings, All!