Toothless thanks and BIG dreams...

Good morning, my friends! It's been a little while since we've sat down with some coffee and chatted for a bit! Life is busy, busy, busy.....BUT....I've been given a reminder that sometimes, you need to slow down and enjoy where you are. So, here I am....let's chat!

The big thing with me at the moment is that I finally have taken action on my 20+ year dental phobia and gotten my teeth worked on! Yes, that's right, the last time I went to the dentist was when I was in my mid 20's and I'm now 49.  I found a dental practice that was able to do sedation (the ONLY way I can tolerate most dental work) and had my extremely bad teeth removed yesterday. I felt and remember NOTHING about the procedure....thank you Dr. R!! Today I am swollen and sore...I was in a bit of pain yesterday and I'm sure I will have more as I heal. However, those bad teeth are gone! At the moment, I have a few teeth missing from the front  so I'm gonna be a bit awkward with conversations till I get fitted for my temporary partials. (NO-you will not see! Hence, the picture above.) It's gonna make work a bit of a challenge....I talk to people for a living. However, I'm not shy about much else, so, I'll get through it.

Action conquers fear. I've said it for a long time and believe it. Getting past a severe phobia is one step beyond that. I've had a lifelong history of good reasons for being afraid of the dentist. I've had a few that made the dentist from 'Little Shop of Horrors' look like a wuss. I also grew up in a different generation where hardly anyone had health insurance, so we didn't go to the dentist much. If we were in unbearable pain, and after all the homemade remedies and over-the-counter stuff didn't work, then we scraped up the money for a trip to the dentist. They were awful....shamed you for not coming in...were rude and had no compassion for the pain you were in. They pretty much let you know that you got what pain you deserved for not seeing them regularly. I've learned to live with quite a bit of pain rather than deal with them, and I couldn't afford it anyway! I consider it no small blessing that I have some form of dental insurance through my job now. There is still quite a bit of out-of-pocket expense for myself and the hubby to get our teeth taken care of. But together, we are doing what we can to try to be healthier, for ourselves and each other.

Next bit of news is that I've begun my online classes! If I do well enough, I hope to be finished and finally have my Bachelor's degree by February 2015! I started the classes at the beginning of November and what an eye-opening experience this has been already!

Lots of fuss has been made about how 'flexible' online classes are....do work wherever you are...it's so flexible, etc. What they don't tell you is that the rest of your life does NOT stop because you are taking online classes. I still have to work full days, clean my house, spend time with my husband, etc. They didn't say, 'you'll probably be doing most of your work in the middle of the night after your husband has gone to bed and you are tired after working all day'. Thank goodness my hubby and I talked about this beforehand and he understands it is temporary. Much of my free time on the weekends is now devoted to writing papers or research online. As long as we're home together, he's fine. I'm the one who is more disturbed at just how much time this is taking up. Then my hubby reminds me of the benefit for our future and I relax a bit. Yes, I'm doing this so it will help me find a better job when we move to California. Yes, I (we) knew this would be a sacrifice for the short-term before I started. Yes, yes, yes....I can do this.

So, I don't get to spend as much time on Facebook as I usually do. I don't get to spend all day chatting with friends online or sharing pictures and such. It's only for a little while, and I know I'll be all the better for it when I'm done. At this very moment I have so much to be thankful for. I have what I need to live...to survive...to thrive.  I am blessed. We're coming up on Thanksgiving in a couple of days. This will be the second year without both my mom and dad. I think about them all the time and miss them so much. I'm thinking about the sibs, too...I won't lie about it. But no, there is no way I can go back to them. It's not a matter of being stubborn, it's about self-respect. The estate is closed....the money distributed...the house is gone. That chapter is closed now....and we keep moving forward.

We're getting a little closer to our goal every day. Some days I don't feel like I'm doing enough to make it happen, other days, I know I'm doing all I can for this moment. The hubby and I laugh about my weather reports (It's 32 here today, but in San Diego it's 82 degrees!) and it is something we both are looking forward to. It's good to have goals and dreams....big ones, little ones....long term, short term...any kind, shape or size. Short term, I would like to finish my homework for my classes today. Mid-term, I'd like teeth so I can have steak again. Long term, I want to have a home in Oceanside, California and dip my toes in the Pacific Ocean as often as I'd like every week. We can all have goals....and we can achieve them. Any shape or size....we all have things to be thankful for which can build us one step closer to what we want. Like attracts like....feel blessed for what you have...for what you know....for what you can do...and it will bring to you thing people, places and things to let you reach those goals you have. The small, medium and big ones. I'm blessed....so are you.

Believe....Dream BIG...