Coming out of the Dark

Blessed Yule!!! Welcome back to the Light friends! I had taken a little bit of a break from writing for awhile. As the year is coming to a close and the winter holidays are upon us, I have had more pressing issues to contend with. I am still mourning the loss of my parents and this holiday season is particularly difficult for me. However, when I am troubled I always rely on the Goddess and I have been busy with much meditation and self-reflection. In working through grief and reflecting on the year now passing, I have found much inspiration to guide and sustain me. 

My dear friend, Kallan Kennedy, has honored me by including me again as one of the contributors for her amazing blog-The Sunday Stew- at The Secret Life of the American Witch! Here you will find my contribution for the special Yule/ Winter Solstice edition. Please be sure to go to Kallan's blog and read all the articles from those wonderful chefs and let their wit and wisdom nourish your spirit.

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“The light at the end of the tunnel is your life; it’s the tunnel that’s temporary.” — Michael Josephson

During the dark part of the year, we go within and mourn the loss of the Sun’s warmth. We mourn the loss of the green, growing plants…the beauty of the trees in their fullness…and the rainbow of flowers all around us. The world has become so cold, dark, and empty. We become frozen in our minds, bodies and spirits…feeling as though we will never thaw. The Goddess Demeter, in her grief has turned the world cold and barren from the loss of her daughter, Persephone, as she has gone to the dark realm of Hades, Lord of the Underworld. But, just when it seems there is no hope and no end to the lengthening darkness, there is a spark of light that will shine again. Persephone will begin her ascent from the Underworld to rejoin her mother.  Once again light and life will return to the world.

So we also begin our ascension back to the light part of the year at Yule. During the dark of the year we reflect on what we have harvested, what we need, and what we could or should have done differently. We mourn what we have lost; love, time, opportunities, health, knowledge…hope? We blindly fumble through the dark parts of ourselves…the shadows….and strike out against our fears and failings. We yell, cry, curse, sleep, and become lethargic and depressed….and yet….there is the faintest glimmer of light in the distance that summons us. There it is again…a speck in the darkness, like a firefly in a vast cave…we see it, feel it, and are compelled to move towards it.

img src-flickr-Christopher William

“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he’s traveling on, then he must close his eyes and travel in the dark.” ― Juan de la Cruz

However, we are not out of the proverbial woods, yet. Light travels fast, but time marches on with a different perspective and we seem to move at a snail’s pace. What we fear seems to hold onto us until we can co-exist within the darkness with no boundaries. The energy of the dark is fluid and changes as we do. Darkness is the other side of the mirror; it reflects the changes within us where the silver reflects the changes without. Will the darkness be a cold, solitary silence, or will it be endless echoing of what or who is just out of reach? Will we dwell where we are, stuck in our shadows and thoughts of the past…or do we move on, with vague thoughts and fuzzy dreams of a not too distant future?

We stumble forward, we climb up, up, up and sometimes, fall and slide back down. Sit for a while and ponder what it truly means to be lost in the dark. My own dark part of the year is full of the grief of lost loved ones and the sadness of betrayal and isolation. Though I have survived, I could believe that it won’t change and this is what I must endure.  Everything often feels dark and I fucking well HURT all over! No one would blame me if I was angry, sad, depressed or crazy. I could do this all day, every day and the state of the natural world reflects my inner world. Many would justify my extended stay at the Dark-Night-of-the-Soul Inn. Well, everyone…except me.

artist-Mary Landberg

“What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.” ― Rumi

Stumble, walk, or crawl but get back up for this is just another path we all tread. The light of the world is calling you back to the surface. When you sit still and do not continue to run from the unknown in the dark, the magick will begin.  Your eyes become adjusted and you are able to see more clearly.  Your inner guides are not drowned out by the clamor of your fears, and your inner vision is heightened. That firefly you glimpsed has suddenly grown a bit and you can follow it easier. You do not ache in the cold because there is gentle warmth increasing in your body and spirit.  Up…up…up…the light grows and the hope in our hearts expands. Hope? Why is there hope? Because we are part of the LIVING beings in this world. Our spirits move us to participate in the natural cycles of LIFE. Our spiritual selves compel us to understand this journey we make over and over again. We make the yearly pilgrimage to the darkness, we understand, and we evolve. Then we muck back through the darkness and take what we know about ourselves to thrive in the Light of the world above.

As spiritual beings, we are never really without the Light. While the world grows cold, Persephone descends, and Demeter makes the natural world slumber on, we have taken the light of the Sun and simply brought it within us for safekeeping. We see the light return, because we release it to shine the way when we are ready to emerge once more. Yule….it is the blessed day of balance between light and dark. It is a day the natural cycle of life brings us back and reminds us that we are ever a part of the world…in light and in dark. Life is renewed….Joy is renewed…Hope is renewed. The Wheel of the Year has turned once more. We are given another cycle to take our experiences and move down our chosen paths with wit, wisdom and the promise of brighter days ahead. Taste the sweetness of life and share that joy with those you love. Celebrate your life and light! Blessed Yule to you all!

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“December is an old friend; it reminds you of the past, together you share some laughs and tears, you feel warm-hearted, though it’s freezing outside. But, the goodbye is inevitable. May the memories we share with this friend next year be filled with comfort, peace and Love.” ― Mohamed Atef