Coffee, Chaos and Cuss Words

My husband and I are in our 50's and are Childfree by choice. It's always been a bit of a challenge to find other Childfree couples like ourselves. While we can find others online, finding people to be friends and socialize with in real life is becoming more of a struggle.  My hubby helped raise his ex's daughter for a time, but never considered having his own otherwise. He may not fit what normally would be the strongest definition of Childfree. However, we have two cats and are happily committed to not having or raising a human child in our home. But prior to my hubby and I getting together, I was already well versed in losing friends who had babies. They swore having a baby would never change our friendship, but it always did. Back in my early 20s, it was common for a friend to have a baby and immediately start hounding me to have one, too. That led to a parting of the ways and I'm not entirely sure that some of them even noticed I was gone. That's okay...but whe

I don't know about you, but I'm not a fan of 'rhyming spells'. There are very few times that I actually will cast or work a spell and speak aloud at all, let alone rhyme. So, does that make me a bad witch or does that influence the outcome of my spells? No....what guides my magick is the intention and energy I put forth into my workings, not whether I found a good rhyme for 'wart'.... Let's explore this a little and I can explain where I differ. Some witches believe that unless a spell is spoken aloud, you have not properly sent your magick out into the universe to work by giving it to the Element of Air. Well, each working I do may not be spoken aloud, but I will take a breath and blow gently across my altar and items as a way to bring in the Element of Air. I also use other symbolic items such as feathers, and such... I have heard that some witches feel you are not properly and intimately involved with your magick unless you speak rhyming words aloud. Agai

                                                    I seriously hate the special 'mommy & baby' parking spots. Talk about an idea that came out of a pronatalistic, privileged society!!! You can always find these spots right up front....near the handicapped/disabled parking. That's right....you can feel free to equate parents and pregnant women with disabled people all around the world. Kinda works for me....I think having kids IS a handicap on several levels. Now, I'm not looking for a special spot of my own here, just the elimination of an idea that is so wholly unfair and pronatalistic that it makes my stomach ache. There are no actual laws forbidding non-parents from parking in these spaces, but on occasions there are areas that claim they will tow your car or fine you. Can you imagine having to pay a fine for a parking space at the grocery store???  It's supposed to be a deterrent for taking up the spot where Mom and her tow-headed girls want to be.  After a

Still amazed by the number of Pagans fascinated with this Pope and the things he says and/or does. I've been told a number of times that it gives Pagans hope to hear the words of Pope Francis and his positions in reforming the Catholic church. Why? Hope for what?  What is it that you are looking for....absolution?  He has given soundbites and photo ops...small words and small gestures. He might well be a good man but he has a larger agenda that only includes YOU if you convert to Catholicism and/or become one of the faithful members of his large flock . Did you all suddenly forget WHERE he works and what he took an oath to uphold? How can you separate the man from the position he holds? The Roman Catholic church has a long history on issues that some really seem to 'want' to forget. However, I cannot forget: - Sexual Abuse -They continue to tolerate priests who are sexual abusers in the church. They move offending priests around to hide them from whatever legal charges the

The Autumn Equinox will be here in a few days. So what does that mean? Why should anyone care? Especially as a solitary practitioner, what influence does this have for me? Not many give deep thought to what it means beyond another reasons to get together in a circle, chant, drum, then sit and enjoy some cake and juice. It's a celebration, but for what? I don't often refer to it as Mabon anymore, as I have been trying to explore a variety of seasonal traditions rather than just the standard, Wiccan/Druid Celtic traditions. My background is Eclectic American/ Italian/ Puerto Rican. I've had trouble accepting Greek/Roman or Celtic rituals for as far back as I can remember. I am a woman born from brown-skinned people.....BUT....unlike many of my struggling friends, I can separate that from my Spiritual Self. How many lifetimes, cultures, traditions, folklores, etc have I experienced within my Spiritual Self. So, rather than lock myself in to one cultural celebration, I've b

Do I dare to voice it out loud? Yes......yes I will..... I think pregnant bodies are gross. I find absolutely NOTHING attractive or even benign about a woman and her baby bump. When I see a pregnant woman, more often than not, an involuntary sneer of disgust curls my lip. Far more frequently than that, it literally causes bile to rise toward my throat....it is THAT bad. Seeing a pregnant woman literally makes me sick. Even more gross and annoying is the horrific trend that the pregnant women follow is this: Since the Vanity Fair cover of Demi Moore back in 1991, women feel a need to pose naked or at least expose their gigantic pregger baby bumps for the world to see. Now some people find the pregnant female body incredibly beautiful. Some even find it a monumental sexual turn-on! Pregnancy fetishism (also called maiesiophilia or maieusphoria) seems to be just part and parcel of the larger pro-natalism in our society. Not me thanks....*urp*.......it really does make me utterly nauseous.

I was spending a little time (okay, a LOT) perusing Pinterest the other day looking for pictures or articles for my Childfree Spirit Facebook page and my Childfree Moxie blog. I came across yet another photograph of a tremendously pregnant woman and her partner with her gigantic belly exposed. It frankly made me a bit nauseous. I know lots of women who love the image of a pregnant woman, but it has never been something that I have ever found beautiful...but I digress... The pinner of said picture was 'Bio Ideology'...and they have a forum site as well called Bio Ideology (I do not believe it is an actual scientific term. It is just a way to make a pseudo pronatalistic position stand out from the others).  Curious (and clearly a glutton for aggravation and punishment) I ventured to their Pinterest page and saw many pins that followed their bio-ideological principles which are extremely pronatalistic. With much bashing of those who are Childfree, this was the description they use

No....it's not time yet...wait your turn! It's amazing to me how many Pagans/ Wiccans/ Witches, etc seem to be the worst proponents of Seasonal Creep. It had actually been defined as an environmental or climate change that brought about conditions of the upcoming season sooner than usual.  Lately, in our modern culture it has taken on a new definition as retailers have begun telling us earlier and earlier that you need to shop for your holiday goodies to get the best deals, and thereby have extended the seasons. I've heard sales announced as the Christmas Creep has already begun and it is only August. What I am speaking of, however, is more like Spiritual Seasonal Creep . The condition in which Nature based religions and spirituality stop living in the moment and/or with the natural cycle and instead fast-forward toward holidays, seasons and celebrations that are coming soon. This really grinds my gears. I mean, seriously...it really does... I love celebrating my wedding an

It appears I've made it to a milestone.... Happy 50th Birthday to me! I didn't think I'd be celebrating the way I am today... where I am today, when I turned 50. My life has taken so many unexpected twists and turns in the past few years that I didn't anticipate this is where I'd be. Living away from NJ...in So Cal...10 minutes from the beach. Wow.....how frikkin cool!!! A year ago, we finally finished with all the agonizing estate business after my parents deaths. I no longer had a relationship with my sibs so Sean and I asked ourselves, 'What are we waiting for?'. We wanted to move to a place where there was milder weather (NO snow!) and be nearer to the beach all year round. We both love Jersey, but couldn't endure another winter. One trip out to So Cal and I found us the little apartment in which we now reside in Oceanside, CA. Everything feels like it's happened so fast (but there was a LOT of work and planning involved)!!! I never dreamed THIS

Four days ago...my husband and I packed up my little Chevy Sonic with our two cats and several bags of clothes and stuff and began a journey across country. We are making our way to Southern California, where we will begin a life near the Pacific Ocean. I think we considered the benefits of our geographical move, but underestimated the impact it would be having on us emotionally. Sean and I have been married for 5 years and together around 7....yet I think this may have been one of the biggest undertakings of our relationship. When we decided to move to the California coast to enjoy year round proximity to the ocean, we knew our life was going to be different....but I'm not sure we understood how many ways it would change. I know I've tried to anticipate all the ups and downs but even my controlling nature couldn't predict how it actually felt till we got on the road. We decided to drive cross country to minimize the impact on our cats, Vilma and Baby. It has still been tra

This has been copied directly from my other blog at   Mid-Stride Moxie!  I'm posting this here, because it is relevant to any number of Childfree straight and LGBT folks. Not just dealing with a pronatalistic society that wants you to give birth, adopt and raise children...but along with that facing a double whammy against the pressure of being who you are. The media frenzy is real...as is the pain that can come from feeling like you are alone. So, from me to you.....You are NOT alone... I listen to the news...observe the entertainment media's feeding frenzy. I listen to and read comments from various blogs and other sources....I cringe at the vitriol...the ignorance...the fear....and some of it from people I never, ever expected it from.  So, just to say it....just to put it out there....here is where I stand. There is much I don't know but I'm willing to learn...and to understand. I'm not perfect, but no one is. My heart is open and I extend my hand in friendship

I listen to the news...observe the entertainment media's feeding frenzy. I listen to and read comments from various blogs and other sources....I cringe at the vitriol...the ignorance...the fear....and some of it from people I never, ever expected it from.  So, just to say it....just to put it out there....here is where I stand. There is much I don't know but I'm willing to learn...and to understand. I'm not perfect, but no one is. My heart is open and I extend my hand in friendship to anyone who can love, respect, laugh, cry, and support each other.... I have no time for ignorance or hate.... So here I am...this is what I believe...this is what I feel... I could never tolerate a bully.... Education conquers fear....not blind hatred... How can you only fight for what matters to you at someone else's expense? Any perfect people out there? Didn't think so... If we are all happy, we all win... Always have been...and it's surprised many gay folks, too... We all c