Making the break...

So, as some of you may know, I am in the middle of packing up my shit and moving to Southern California.  This is definitely a complete leap into the unknown for me and I am looking at this entire process as an adventure, rather than an ordeal. I've been trying to focus on what I'm 'learning' instead of what I'm 'enduring'. Seems to be helping to have a more positive outlook...since I am prone to worry myself into major stress and anxiety. Also, despite the anxiety of my witchy friends who couldn't help but remind me I was planning this major life change in the middle of Mercury Retrograde, I've had a relatively smooth go of it so far. 

There have been a few bumps, to be sure, but so far I'm working it all out. One 'bump' was the complete FAIL of my job to coordinate and ensure that when I gave notice, the State and National organizations were notified. They didn't, and therefore, despite giving 2 weeks notice, I almost ended up leaving with a Resignation NOT in Good Standing. WTF????? If you want anything done right, you have to do it yourself! So, there I was, on the phone with said agencies, faxing proof that I had given notice and hoping they agreed that I wasn't the one at fault. They did, and so, I will be leaving with a Resignation in Good Standing. It may not seem like that big a deal to some people. However, I am almost 50 and moving to a new state. One of the things that will serve me best is not having a shitty detail like that on my record as I try to find a good job. 

It's unnerving....I've never been without a job for this period of time since I was a young teenager. Granted, we are in the process of moving and packing, but until we get out to California and hopefully not long after, I will be unemployed. Yes, I am a little freaked out by it....no, not just freaked out-I'm scared. This entire move is about going after what I want...from where I want to live to finding new job opportunities, hobbies and friends. My hubby was laid off a couple of years ago and I know that the job market is tough right now. So, it is a true leap of faith in myself and my abilities to do this, especially at my age! There isn't exactly a real niche in any job market for women over 40. All you ever hear on news programs is how college kids can't find jobs. That's great, but I'm not living with mom and dad. It's me, the hubby and two fat cats. It's on the two of us to provide for ourselves. So when it comes to the job hunt I am going to be fierce! In the meantime...'Pack another box, Lina and shut the hell up!' LOL! 

So, with two weeks left to get done what needs to be done, I will not panic. One step at a time, one day at a time....maybe even one hour at a time. I can't focus on the what-ifs and create the life I want to live. I will fight through the anxiety and insecurity and just stay focused on our goals and our plans. It really is exciting....and this is just the first part of the journey.... Making the break from my beloved NJ....from my job....from my home.....and venturing into the west. Despite everything, I'm doing what no one believed I could do and I'm going to be living by the ocean like I've always wanted. A new chapter of my life is starting and I'm nearly 50....doing things people younger than me wouldn't have the courage to do.

Every time I think of that, it feels like I'm falling in love with my life again....and it's fantastic....