Coffee, Chaos and Cuss Words

“You must   learn   to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose.” ~ Indira Gandh i Early on in my spiritual seeking, I was a frenetic seeker-all ‘bump and go’.  Meaning, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, I RAN to find where I belonged. I traveled to many different areas, joined different groups and attended a gazillion workshops, lectures, and retreats. I read whatever I could get my hands on about Wicca, Paganism and Witchcraft in a multitude of cultures just looking for that one place I would finally feel at home. This was during pre-internet times. When the internet was in its infancy, there was not much information on the types of spiritual paths I was exploring. Many who walked those paths still believed they needed to practice in secrecy-whether by tradition or a fear of the repercussion for coming ‘out of the broom closet’. Those who were out were often charlatans…charging hundreds of dollars for poor guidance to...

Dad and his cat, Baby-January 2013 Sunday morning, March 17, I got a phone call in the morning from my brother. He said that our relatives in Puerto Rico called him to notify him that our father had a heart attack or possibly a stroke. I was on a plane to Puerto Rico that afternoon and got to the hospital in San Juan by 10pm that night. My father had been visiting family there that he hadn’t seen for about 4 years. He and Mom used to go every year on vacation, but with my mother’s health declining, they stopped going. October 19, 2012 my Mom passed away. In late February 2013 Dad said he wanted to visit his family and so he went to Puerto Rico for about 3 weeks. No health problem but he was having difficulty dealing with the devastating loss of his wife of 47 years. As soon as I saw him, I knew the end was near. He was hooked up to a respirator and he was already brain dead by the time I got there. It was a severe and sudden stroke on the left side of his brain. I stayed in the ER with...

The issues I have had with learning to connect with the Crone goddess are rooted in what the ‘rules’ are that have been handed down from some of my peers. At nearly 47, I am not considered ‘old enough’ for some to be in my Crone years. However, physically I have begun the roller coaster ride of Menopause and know this is not going to be a dull trip! I have never had children, and it has been tough relating to the transition from Maiden to Mother and then to Crone. Early on during my spiritual seeking, when I was a much younger woman, even my Pagan and Wiccan sisters had no words of wisdom for me. As someone who never planned to have children, it was just assumed that I would change my mind someday and ‘then I would understand’ the true role of the Triple Goddess. Crap...I think that no one could explain it to me because as long as it fit into their bubble, they had no desire to look beyond. I wanted to explore and know the Goddess in all her aspects, in all cultures, in all phases to k...

  When I say I’m ‘fat’…I mean it. It’s not just some ridiculous, self-indulgent, passive, attention-whore way to get validation from someone next to me so they will be moved to tell me that I’m not. (Worse than that is when someone who clearly weighs about 100 pounds tells me how fat THEY are.) What’s grinding my gears today is about the way that plus-sized women show themselves and feel about themselves. I struggle with this all the time. While my hubby met me at my current size and loves every curve I own, the rest of society does not share that feeling. It’s a struggle to feel good about myself while living and working in a world that just thrives on telling you how to feel, eat, think, live and look.  Combine this with a life as a middle-aged woman and all that it entails and I’ve definitely got my work cut out for me! Since I entered puberty, I have had large breasts. Seriously….I was a 32B when I was about 11 years old. We speak nowadays about girls maturing physically a...

It amazes me how many people miss the truly magickal moments in life. It is a sad and sometimes frustrating truth that people live their lives like a television show. They expect the sacred and special moments of life to arrive with a thunderbolt and really cool theme music. I am as guilty of this as the next person. Just because I walk the path of a Witch/Wiccan/Pagan, doesn’t mean that in my day-to-day life when I’m stressed from work, annoyed with my husband, or sick with a cold that I catch every bit of spiritual oomph in my life! I’m human and therefore, fallible.  I occasionally trip over a root or limp with a stone in my shoe as I walk down my road. In clearer moments, I recognize the threads of magick and embrace whatever lesson is there for me that continues to draw me forward. Sometimes, I need a bit of help seeing what is right in front of me. Goddess has graciously provided an occasional cosmic smack to the back of my head more than once when I am about to walk away bl...

Imbolc has always been a special celebration for me. As a novice, I was initiated into my first coven at Imbolc and was given the magickal name of Artemis. Later, I was initiated as a priestess on Imbolc, further committing and clearing another part of my spiritual path. My mentor was the one who chose this day for those rituals…and I was not sure how she came to this decision until later. When I first met Etain, a former nun and lesbian who became a Wiccan priestess, she was the most welcoming person I had met in the Wiccan/Pagan communities. She was generous with her teachings and always emphasized to me that even when practicing as a group, each person’s spiritual path was individual. I might join their circle, but my beliefs and practices, would be my own to follow for the entire length of my life. Perhaps it was the difficulties she had in her own experiences that led her to teach me those lessons. Humans are subject to their flaws…insecurity, need for approval, desire for attenti...

Wow! I won an award! How awesome is that for a new blogger? It's VERY awesome! Thank you so much to Gemmi Fuchsbau at  Walk the Circle  for giving me the Liebster Award. As this was my second attempt at creating a blog, it means so very much to know that there are people out there not only reading my blog....but LIKING my blog! As a blog newbie, I was unfamiliar with this award-so here I will borrow the explanation of the award from Gemmi for you to understand it better: "For those bloggers and readers who are unfamiliar with this award, “The Liebster Award" is given to up and coming bloggers who have fewer than 200  followers . The word ” Liebster” comes from German and can mean the sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, most beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.” Isn't that cool? What a lovely way to share the love and encouragement with those bloggers just getting started....and giving some validation to their thoughts, feelings and ex...