Imbolc and then some!
Bright Blessings, my friends!
I'm hoping this day finds you well wherever you are. Here in NJ, we are being hammered by yet another snowstorm. (I am sooo over winter...). This recent storm forced me to cancel plans to drive up north today and conclude some business with my parent's estate, but...at least I am home and safe with my hubby and my cat. Cozy, warm and loved....it's a blessing and I am grateful for it!
So, I am working on some blog topics for upcoming editions here at Mid-Stride Moxie. I am also working on my contributions for Kallan Kennedy's blog-The Secret Life of the American Witch! You can click here for the Sunday Stew-Imbolc Edition. It's another good one...and there is a giveaway, too! Be sure to go over and check things out if you haven't already!
At the mo', I find myself actually taking a bit of a break from some social media. I have not been on Facebook nearly as often as I had been. I check in, look around, but don't generally comment on anything, and then I leave. I've found that FB has a way of testing the limits of my patience when it comes to interpersonal communication.
A few misunderstandings left me feeling annoyed. One issue I was able to work out with the other person by talking it out. Another seemed more determined to continue 'misunderstand' me for the purpose of being able to remain upset, even after I had explained myself thoroughly. For the sake of my blood pressure, I unfriended and blocked someone for only the second time on FB. That particular case did not leave me with the sense of satisfaction as much as when I blocked my hubby's ex-wife!
It just seems part of the price of admission we pay when engaging in social media. I love so many of the great people I've met so far that I feel blessed to know them. Those folks make up about 80% of my contacts. Another 15% strictly business or reference contacts. It is the last 5% that tend to aggravate, shock, and take me utterly by surprise.
Not to put the blame on mental health issues entirely, but I have found that a majority of the 5% have some sort of disorder...usually bi-polar or borderline personality or a major anxiety/depressive disorder. I've worked in the field of mental health for a long time and it's difficult to work with those disorders in person and well-regulated. Online...behind a monitor which acts like a mask...when you may or may not have the full story of how well someone is maintaining their mental health is another issue altogether. While I try to be as understanding as possible when someone is having a good day/bad day or dealing with some trauma from the past or present...I can only help so much online. More to the point, there is only so much I should have to try to do to help, without enabling someone's bad behavior.
I can't ask if they are doing alright, or mention that they are saying things that are inappropriate for anyone to say without having them freak out! Sad, angry, aggressive, insulting, remorseful, depressed, accusatory, remorseful (again), accommodating....lather, rinse, repeat...
It's draining and while I want to help, I can only do so much. At some point, I have to step back and take care of myself before I lose myself in someone else's issues. And as I said, it's not just those with mental health disorders. Life takes us round and round with our own issues, and no one is immune. So what to do when a friend who is feeling stressed, insecure,lonely, jealous, depressed, irritable, etc...even just for a temporary period? Sometimes-as put best by Monty Python-the best response is simply to 'Run Away!'
Does that make me a bad friend or a bad person? Nope-it means I am a fallible human being and I understand my limitations. I had friends who I didn't hear from when my parents died until well after the funerals were over. Can I blame them for being bad people? No...not when they could be clear what was going on with them and how they just couldn't deal with it at that time. That's life and sometimes....it is what it is. If you are able to exercise those options, you can back up, rest up, and get back in the game when you feel ready to face things. Sometimes, there are some people that you don't want to (or can't) sever ties with completely. The only choice is to back away and put some space between you in the hopes that some time and distance will bring some peace and a clearer perspective.
At the mo'...that's what I've done on FB. I miss chatting with some of my friends, but this isn't forever. I just needed to not deal with other people's issues and tend to my own studies and goals.
Anyhoo...back to my snow day. I think I need to do some laundry and then settle in with a book for a bit.
Thanks for coming by to visit. I appreciate you coming and taking the time to see what's on my mind and in my heart. I'll see you all again soon...
I'm hoping this day finds you well wherever you are. Here in NJ, we are being hammered by yet another snowstorm. (I am sooo over winter...). This recent storm forced me to cancel plans to drive up north today and conclude some business with my parent's estate, but...at least I am home and safe with my hubby and my cat. Cozy, warm and loved....it's a blessing and I am grateful for it!
So, I am working on some blog topics for upcoming editions here at Mid-Stride Moxie. I am also working on my contributions for Kallan Kennedy's blog-The Secret Life of the American Witch! You can click here for the Sunday Stew-Imbolc Edition. It's another good one...and there is a giveaway, too! Be sure to go over and check things out if you haven't already!
At the mo', I find myself actually taking a bit of a break from some social media. I have not been on Facebook nearly as often as I had been. I check in, look around, but don't generally comment on anything, and then I leave. I've found that FB has a way of testing the limits of my patience when it comes to interpersonal communication.
A few misunderstandings left me feeling annoyed. One issue I was able to work out with the other person by talking it out. Another seemed more determined to continue 'misunderstand' me for the purpose of being able to remain upset, even after I had explained myself thoroughly. For the sake of my blood pressure, I unfriended and blocked someone for only the second time on FB. That particular case did not leave me with the sense of satisfaction as much as when I blocked my hubby's ex-wife!
It just seems part of the price of admission we pay when engaging in social media. I love so many of the great people I've met so far that I feel blessed to know them. Those folks make up about 80% of my contacts. Another 15% strictly business or reference contacts. It is the last 5% that tend to aggravate, shock, and take me utterly by surprise.
Not to put the blame on mental health issues entirely, but I have found that a majority of the 5% have some sort of disorder...usually bi-polar or borderline personality or a major anxiety/depressive disorder. I've worked in the field of mental health for a long time and it's difficult to work with those disorders in person and well-regulated. Online...behind a monitor which acts like a mask...when you may or may not have the full story of how well someone is maintaining their mental health is another issue altogether. While I try to be as understanding as possible when someone is having a good day/bad day or dealing with some trauma from the past or present...I can only help so much online. More to the point, there is only so much I should have to try to do to help, without enabling someone's bad behavior.
I can't ask if they are doing alright, or mention that they are saying things that are inappropriate for anyone to say without having them freak out! Sad, angry, aggressive, insulting, remorseful, depressed, accusatory, remorseful (again), accommodating....lather, rinse, repeat...
It's draining and while I want to help, I can only do so much. At some point, I have to step back and take care of myself before I lose myself in someone else's issues. And as I said, it's not just those with mental health disorders. Life takes us round and round with our own issues, and no one is immune. So what to do when a friend who is feeling stressed, insecure,lonely, jealous, depressed, irritable, etc...even just for a temporary period? Sometimes-as put best by Monty Python-the best response is simply to 'Run Away!'
Does that make me a bad friend or a bad person? Nope-it means I am a fallible human being and I understand my limitations. I had friends who I didn't hear from when my parents died until well after the funerals were over. Can I blame them for being bad people? No...not when they could be clear what was going on with them and how they just couldn't deal with it at that time. That's life and sometimes....it is what it is. If you are able to exercise those options, you can back up, rest up, and get back in the game when you feel ready to face things. Sometimes, there are some people that you don't want to (or can't) sever ties with completely. The only choice is to back away and put some space between you in the hopes that some time and distance will bring some peace and a clearer perspective.
At the mo'...that's what I've done on FB. I miss chatting with some of my friends, but this isn't forever. I just needed to not deal with other people's issues and tend to my own studies and goals.
Anyhoo...back to my snow day. I think I need to do some laundry and then settle in with a book for a bit.
Thanks for coming by to visit. I appreciate you coming and taking the time to see what's on my mind and in my heart. I'll see you all again soon...
I so admire how you take care of you and keep your boundaries. Hugging you close and sending you lots of love.
ReplyDelete