Winter Blues (aka I F**kin Hate Snow!!)

I really....REALLY don't like Winter (Hate may not be too strong a word for it...). For the life of me, when I hear people talking about loving snow, or how pretty ice is, or even the supreme weirdos who enjoy shoveling snow...it's like I am surrounded by aliens. Give me the sunshine...the green grass...the budding trees and blooming flowers...the ocean breeze and sand between my toes and I'm a happy girl. Yes, even when I'm sweating balls in 100+ degree weather with 90% humidity, it's better than being trapped in a snowstorm.

My best friend is a tremendous fan of Winter (I still love her-no one's perfect...). She will grouse until we get snow, and then grouse more if we don't get an extreme blizzard with a minimum of 3-5 inches to cover the lawn. To me, snow is good for keeping me out of work for a day or two....but even when I'm safe and warm inside my home, I resent the hell out of that frozen white stuff that is preventing me from enjoying a day outdoors.

Since I was in my early 20's I've struggled with the change of seasons. I have said with yearly regularity that in another life I must have been a bear. I would be perfectly content to eat and grow extremely fat then sleep the entire winter away without notice or a care in the world and not emerge till Springtime awakens me! I definitely got the 'fat' part down pretty good...

What to do when you live in New Jersey and you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder? Well, understanding it is one thing. You can call it Cabin Fever, Winter Blues, or just I-really-fucking-hate-Winter.  I've lived in Jersey my entire 48+ years and have had to adjust every winter. The symptoms creep up on me in October-November and by January, I am begging Jack Frost to just break up with me already and move the fuck out!

This is was taken from WebMD about (SAD):
If you have seasonal affective disorder (SAD), you will usually have symptoms of depression during the winter when there is less daylight (October through April). Symptoms of SAD include:
-Difficulty concentrating.
-Low energy and fatigue.
-Reduced interest in daily activities, especially social activities.
-Moodiness (depressed, sad, or unusually quiet).
-Increased appetite.
-Cravings for complex carbohydrates (such as pasta and bread).
-Weight gain.
-Increased sleep.
-Loss of interest in sex.
-Irritability.

Today is a classic-we are in the *middle* of a major Nor'easter that still has to go through round two (tonight) of kicking our asses. As I sit here typing this, there is at least a foot of snow on the ground, with more to come. Now, I have all I need in my home. I am with my husband and cat; we are safe, warm and have plenty of food and supplies. Good enough? No....because this weather makes me feel like I am filled with extreme resentment at the white landscape out my window. My office is closed today because of the storm, but that is little consolation from the feeling I have of major irritability that the snow and ice are keeping me a prisoner in my own home. 

All I can do at this stage is what I do every year: grit my teeth and wait it out. Those who enjoy Winter don't really get it. I have restrained myself a gazillion times from punching someone in the head when they while and say, 'I want a BLIZZARD! Bring it on!' They are almost as bad (but not quite) as the idiots who can't deal at all and must empty the stores of all their break, milk, and eggs each time there is snow in the forecast so their kids can have french toast at least one snow day and their parental guilt for a lack of home-cooked meals is assuaged. 

What plagues me is more mental and emotional. I really feel awful, but push forward through each season because-well, what other choice do I have? I need the sunlight, the warmth, the Vitamin D to make me feel calm, relaxed, and peaceful. It is what gives me balance-chemically, mentally and emotionally. If you feel this way, you are not alone. 

I have had enough, and yet, Winter will be with us for many weeks longer. Till the Spring thaw, we are just stuck. I will go through many different ways to cope until the crocus emerge through the soil, the buds on the trees start to grow, and I feel the familiar tingle that comes from itchy eyes and the beginning of allergy season. We are stuck, like Ralphie to the flag pole, till the sun's rays at Spring time release us from the agony of SAD and Winter's frozen embrace.