Mid-Stride Moxie goes Back-to-School!

Many years ago, I walked away from the Bachelor's degree I had been pursuing for 4 years. At the time, I had already completed an Associate's Degree, but for the B.A. - I was one class short. I literally walked away at the very end...failing to submit my final paper for the last class which left me with an Incomplete grade and no degree. Why?  Many people asked that question and I've asked myself that a gazillion times over the years. All I can say is, 'It seemed like the right move at the time'. Relationships, family, work, LIFE....all conspired at that time to make my life ridiculous and my response was to walk away from it. At that time, I was a younger woman, still allowing people to live vicariously through me and my accomplishments. There was no praise, only condemnation that I didn't appreciate and wasn't doing more with what I had been given. I did what I was expected to do, until I finally had enough and turned on my heel and left.

Truth is, I never wanted to go to college. I wanted to work, to travel, to explore other cultures and meet new people before I thought about whether I wanted to go to college or do something else. I wasn't afraid of working my way up the ladder in different places as I got to know a job. But I was smart, articulate and outgoing...a combination which led my family to push me toward what they believed was the only option for me-a college education. I learned a lot about life at school, but nothing that actually prepared me for the working world. First year of college is like an extra year of high school. You simply have higher level classes that mimic the same classes you took in college. You don't get to take any course related to your field of interest until much later. I was so bored...I wasn't challenged....but I got great grades....

Cut to four years later: a complex relationship with a charismatic but deceitful fiance', more family pressure, some very toxic friendships and my own internal spiritual and emotional struggles. I was in my mid-20s and had finally reached a limit. I didn't want the degree...and I didn't want anyone else to vicariously have it through my efforts either. I walked away without telling anyone what I'd done. In my mind, it was the first step toward realizing that I could actually control my life and do what I wanted instead of what others wanted me to do. I admit, it probably wasn't the wisest choice, but at the time, it gave me hope. It led me to new roads, new options, and new decisions. I grew tremendously and learned much from that one action.

So, here we are....many years later (okay, well over twenty) and I made another decision. Starting on November 3, I will be taking the remaining classes I need, online, to complete my degree at Thomas Edison State College. If all goes well, I will be done on January 25, 2015 and finally have that degree I started back in the 80s. Why now? Well, for one thing...I want to and I feel that I'm ready for it. My mid-life brain knows that not having the degree has held me back in a few areas. Moving to California next Fall and finding work as a 50 year old woman will be a bit easier with the degree than without it. I currently have a boss who doesn't like the idea of Professional Development much. He likes to train people his way, but doesn't want them getting certificates or anything that they can use outside of the job which might let them advance beyond his control. I realized I could control this and I didn't need his permission to develop MYSELF. Another lesson learned about 'control'..,like the one I learned so long ago. Only this time, I grabbed the wheel and stepped on the gas....

Am I nervous? Hell, yeah! It's been a long time since I've done this. However, I also now have a wealth of life experience I didn't have back then and oodles more self-confidence. I know how to ask for help and have a great husband and friends who will support me. This is just another step outside my comfort zone...and it's a stretch that feels good. I like this kind of challenge and I'm ready for it.
As I've talked with other adults, it makes me sad how many feel that they can't let themselves go back for a degree that they desperately want. I do have one friend who has taken on the challenge and is enrolled-I'm so proud of her! She was ready to do it, and that makes all the difference. She didn't make the excuse that others have about being 'too old' to go back. As long as there is breath, there is life and opportunities to learn and grow. I've taken a great deal of courage from reading about men and women in their 50s, 60s, 70s and even 80s who have gone back to school....because they WANTED to! How inspiring they are to me!

I think this is leading me to my Mid-Stride career change. I think I am meant to be doing more in encouraging, counseling or coaching others toward the things they want in their lives. I'm still growing up, it seems...but now I can incorporate 40+ years of interests, skills, likes and dislikes to create a career I WANT to have. What a fabulous opportunity is in front of me. I'm not afraid of the changes ahead. I welcome the new information, directions and experiences I'm going to have. The best thing is, this time, I'm doing it for ME. This isn't the only change to come, nor the only change I've made lately. It's never too late unless you give up. I'm just getting started...and hope to encourage others who want to make changes for themselves. Some folks never had anyone who encouraged them to do this for themselves....some worry about the cost...or the time. I'm not wealthy and I'm not going into crazy debt for this, so if I can do it, so can you! I've taken little steps up to now...and while it didn't look like I was doing much, it led me to this much bigger leap of faith. I believe in myself...and this is the RIGHT time for me.

Life does not have to settle down at your mid-life. This is hardly a mid-life crisis I'm going through! (I don't think I've actually had one...kinda skipped that.) I have many ideas, plans, wants and wishes in my mind....and I don't want them to stay there. At 49, it's the right time for me to take some action and create the life I want. I'm not going to be rich or famous...but that's not the goal. My goal is to be HAPPY....that's all...just HAPPY. I am happy now....and I want to keep being happy. So, let's put some things in place and work on what will help me reach my goal. Big decision...but accomplished with little steps. I wish more people would realize they don't have to give up everything they have to enjoy having more of what they want. Some changes occur slowly over time and they are meant to last. We have a finite time on this planet...in this world...in this life. What are you waiting for?